I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
