and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
