Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
