i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
