well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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