How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
