i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
