when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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