Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
