I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
