WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
