We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
