I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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