Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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