You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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