I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
