her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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