Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
