He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
