grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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