so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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