it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
