the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
