Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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