He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
