he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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