She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
