...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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