you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
