dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
