I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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