why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
