She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
