porn star boner night. come get it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
