I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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