Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
