I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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