How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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