kristin has been a bad kristin
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
