i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
