ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
