Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
