Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
too bad you live with your parents still
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
