Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
