so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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