Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
