Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
