People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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