Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
