big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
