i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
